This great advice was written on an empty storefront window in South Beach, Florida. It made me think of the couple’s I see for marital therapy in Austin and how often our early work focuses on listening. Here’s the best way to listen to your partner:
Make eye contact.
Listen for feelings.
Reflect back what you heard, including their feelings to show that you truly hear and understand them. Ask them if you got it right.
Share how you felt toward them as you listened.
Don’t problem solve, judge or give advice unless they ask for it.
Ask them if there is some way you can help or support them with this issue.